Winning Child Custody Strategies!

Are you contemplating a divorce? Or are you already going through with it?

If that is the case and you have offspring then the reading of this article is vital for you. You must remember to maintain civility in your relationship with your ex in spite of the divorce for the sake of your children. But sadly custody battles are hardly without bitterness.

Parents often try to use the child as an instrument for tormenting their ex. As a result the children, who are innocent, suffer. The following write up makes it clear why temporary child custody is vital to the final triumph in getting the custody in your favor.

Firstly, it is absolutely vital that you settle a reasonable agreement with your ex regarding the temporary custody. This arrangement is very important in the long term and needs to be treated as the final one. There can be harmful effects if one does not take this primary stage seriously. It is necessary in the very first stages to have an agreement with your ex in writing with regard to the temporary custody.

This custody is decided by a judge in a family court or by the parents themselves in writing( a lawyer’s presence is advisable though not compulsory).If you decide on an informal settlement it is essential to be firm in your demands and not give in to pressure exerted by your ex just to avoid a public divorce. This arrangement has an impact on the children and your relationship with them.

You must understand that if you give in to your ex in the temporary custody and it takes a long time to finally settle the divorce, then in the permanent custody your ex will get preference. Generally it takes at least six months if not more to settle a divorce and child custody. So, if during this time your child is with your ex then it is probable that the final custody will be granted to your ex and is in keeping with his/ her schedule instead of yours.

You have to keep in mind that the judge tries to keep the best interest of the child in mind while making his decision and this involves least disruption of the routine of the child. When your child is already residing with one parent for say the six months that it takes for the case to settle, a lawyer may argue that it is in the best interest of the child to not remove him / her from his/ her surrounding to a new one. In most cases the judges will concur with this argument and award custody to the parent who has been looking after the child.

It is the most important thing to establish in one’s mind that custody once granted is very difficult to change. Therefore, you must treat the temporary custody as the final one. A family court does not take long to award a judgment, so one must prepare thoroughly for it beforehand.

It is also vital to know and remember that your rights as a parent are same as those of your ex and you should not feel intimidated or threatened into giving up your right over your own child.

The phrase “in the child’s best interest” is widely used in the family court in child custody proceedings. But it is used in many arbitrary senses by the family court or judges. Also, its meaning is slightly vague. The child custody law differs from state to state, thus, there is no uniform legal yardstick which determines what would be best for the child.

Some states make provision and insist on joint custody of the child while others do not. It is being found that some states are amending the existing laws and adopting a preference for joint custody while the others are amending the law to provide for joint custody only if the couple agrees to it.

Like most of the other states, child custody in California is decided depending on the health, safety, welfare, education of the child. He should also be brought up in a congenial atmosphere which would allow free play of creative impulse in him. The child must have frequent and continuing contact with both parents.

But the Constitution of California does not put forth a preference or presumption for or against joint custody or custody to one parent, therefore leaving the parenting plan decision up to the discretion of the family court or judge. In 1979, it adopted a presumption for joint custody but later amended the law in 1994 and made provisions for joint custody when both parents agree to it.

As per the American Bar Association website, other states like Connecticut, Maine, Michigan, Mississippi, Nevada, Vermont and Washington also allow joint custody only if the parents agree to it. States which put forth a presumption for joint custody are District of Columbia, Florida, Idaho, Iowa, Kansas, Louisiana, Minnesota, Missouri, Montana, New Hampshire, New Mexico and Texas. There are a handful of states which specifically do not authorize joint custody.

There is a rising trend in favor of joint custody. Many countries are amending their laws. New bills are being passed and new legislations being introduced which would allow for joint custody. It is believed that this is being done in the best interest of the ward.

But in case either of the parents is unfit for taking responsibility or can not fulfill the requirements of the child then this idea is given a miss. But all states have not yet amended their present system and made place for joint custody.

In case you are involved in child custody dispute, be it initial custody or modification of the prevailing custody, it is advisable that you consult a family law attorney in your jurisdiction who would explain to you the intricacies of the law and how it would apply to your case in specific. He would also tell you the criteria for determining the best interest of your child. This would make you aware of your child custody responsibilities and rights.

The word custody refers to the judicial, legal and custodial rights of the parent to the child. It also pertains to certain particular duties and responsibilities on part of the parent for the child. There are various forms of child custody arrangement. The parents may amicably settle for a joint custody while in other cases it has been found that one of the parents demand sole custody. This choice of arrangement depends on the state from which you hail.

Also, the arrangement may vary from a certain locality to another. The jurisdiction of your locality may be different from that of your neighboring locality. The choice can also be made depending upon the preference of the spouse or the needs of the ward.

It is very important for you to know the intricacies of the judicial procedure as this would enable to make a better and favorable arrangement for your child. It might not be easy. Honestly speaking, it is not easy at all. But then, this is something within your means. Know where you stand and hold on to the ground that might give you the winning edge.

The tips provided below would surely help you make favorable custody arrangements for your child.

1.   All child custody arrangements emphasize on the welfare of the child. There is no
    particular yardstick which can determine the well being of the child. It is judged generally based on the circumstances of the parent and what the child requires. If you want custody of your child, you ought to show everything that you can provide for your child which would give him/her a secured future.

2.   Give a logical justification beyond what your motivation is. Be careful of the things
    that you tell the judge or mediator. Emphasize on what you think would be best for the child and how you can provide it for him. You must be careful not to criticize or paint your spouse in grey as this can be viewed as a measure of retaliation. This can be detrimental and you might land up losing the custody of the child. It is advised that you highlight the strong points of your case instead.

3.   There are people who fight their cause in the court without representation. Never
    do this. You might worry about the expenses of hiring a lawyer. But a good lawyer may not be necessarily expensive. You should choose a person who specializes in family law. Someone, who can represent you well and arrange for favorable child custody. They person should be experienced and he must know the guardians and evaluators who can help in the case.

4.   It has been seen that most judges and mediators judge a parent by their
    expressions and their behavior during the procedure. So, its very important for you to keep your calm while you are being evaluated. This would put you at a better and stronger disposal and help you win the case.

5.   Stay in contact with your kids. Stand by them so that they can easily sail through this
    crucial phase. Be understanding and cooperative and do not lose your patience and temper with them. You would automatically know how to secure a favorable arrangement if deep down in your heart you are attached to the child and know how to care for him/her.

There are many ways to arrange for a favorable custody for your child. But the master key that can lead to success is being a good and responsible parent. Your child should be your first and foremost priority.